What frogs think of humans

Quit staring at me!

Long ago, I had to live in a zoo – I think that’s what it was called – in a kind of weird glass enclosure with fake scenery (pretty cheap quality too if you ask me) and poor artificial lighting (did anyone ever ask me if I wanted it to be so dark?). It was a pretty easy life I suppose, but very boring. What used to irritate me more than anything else was the way people used to come up to the glass to stare at me and my fellow inhabitants and talk about us as if we couldn’t hear them. I didn’t mind the children so much as they were just curious, but the adults used to talk about us as if we were idiots. “Look at that fat frog over there” or “Doesn’t that big frog look stupid” or “Why doesn’t he move when I hit the glass?” would be the sort of annoying comments I’d get.

Well did you ever think what I thought of you and your gawking companions? Thanks to this blog I can now put the record straight and tell you how I perceive humans (yes I too can use fancy words).

Slow down and have some fun

Rush, rush, rush and moan, moan, moan – that’s all humans seem to do. Yes, so many of you (with some exceptions) look and sound bizarre to us frogs. You run around, freaking out at the slightest issue (or other people) and then complain about how miserable your lives are. So if you’re not happy why are you rushing to do things that don’t actually cheer you up?

And what’s this obsession with electronic machines and gadgets? People spend their lives fiddling about with devices and making their eyesight worse by staring at tiny screens. Sometimes, this strange activity is supposedly to communicate with other humans. Can’t you just meet your friends and talk directly to them? And what’s this silly craze for playing games? The one that drives me really mad is that Candy Crush game. Do you realize how stupid you look glaring at those colored shapes moving around and the inane grins on your faces as you do it? What’s so exciting about moving onto another level of this ridiculous activity? 

My advice to you is to just sit back, preferably in a shallow puddle of stagnant water, let out a large croak and watch life go by at its own pace...